S.A.D.

Yes, it has been a long winter. And Yes, we're all tired of the snow and cold and being stuck indoors. I'll even go so far as to say that it makes some of us excessively cranky. But, come on! Do we really need to label it as another disorder?

I'm talking about Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD, and I'm having a bit of trouble taking it seriously. I mean, they worked so hard to get the SAD acronym! Pathetic. We just called it Cabin Fever, and you went to the gym or the tanning salon or bought an Amarylis to grow in the house.

Have you ever wanted to invent an "ism" or an "itis? Well, here's your chance! If men can have PMS now, then I'm sure we can think of a way to legitimize whatever syndrome or deficit that you can come up with. I'll go first:

• P.L.E.A.S.--or Post Laundry Emergence Avoidance Syndrome. In other words, when the laundry comes out of the dryer, I go and hide.

Your turn! Let me hear them! In the meantime, I'm going to go buy an Amarylis.