Absolutely nothing. They just sit there and stare at each other awkwardly until Resolutions makes an excuse about refilling his drink and leaves. Rejection is easier to overcome than Inertia.
What follows is not a list of resolutions so much, as it is a list of things that I would like to do--most of which I will probably not get around to this year.
- Learn to Tat with a Shuttle. I have already conquered needle tatting, and suspect that I will always prefer that method. However, shuttle tatting would come in handy when using more than one color of thread, or traveling on planes where they frown on the possession of sharp, poky objects.
- Learn to Play the Spoons. Maybe it's my Mississippi roots coming out, but I've wanted to do this for a long time. It's probably delusional to think that it will raise my coolness level in anyone's eyes, however. If nothing else, it will allow me to embarrass the snot out of my girls later when they start bringing teenage boys over.
- Learn to Wield a Staff. Stop laughing. I'm not talking about an avatar in an RPG. I hike. My dog is a chicken. I already carry a hiking pole. I might as well learn how to defend myself with it. Besides, it gives me an excuse to use the word "wield".
- Learn to Make Homemade Pasta. Because I don't already have enough weight to lose.
- Carry Less Baggage. In a non-metaphoric way, I really want to learn how to travel light. I have a number of trips coming up this year, and I'd like to be as "low maintenance" as possible. For others, yes, but mostly for myself. Slackers don't wheel 97 pounds of luggage...anywhere. (Remind me to tell you about bringing Geodes home from California.)
- Hone my Googling skills. Yes, "hone" and "googling" are fun words to use, but what I really want is to find cool websites before any of my friends.
- Find my Daughter's Floor. She learned to crawl. She learned to walk. She learned to read. She learned to craft. End of story.
- Hike the length of the Hennepin Canal Trail. Preferably without locking myself out of the car this time. Day hiking only. Sorry, GT. I'd pretend that this has nothing to do with the 50+ boxes planted by Shorty, Pitties, and Hart x6, but y'all would know I was lying.
- Come up with Four More Things. Twelve just sounded like a nice number, but my Slacker side is getting woozy just reading this list. Since I don't think the last items should be catching up on episodes of Doctor Who and Fringe, I'll come back later.